My entry for the Repo Men contest. The brain is an organ -- albeit a very complex one. While I'm not sure what the status of the brain is re: the technology for the movie's universe, because the webpage of examples doesn't have any neurological implements I'm going to go with a 'we can't yet replace the whole package, but...
The benefits are many, drawbacks few! It's more than worth the unit's mere $950,000
price-tag! (Surgical implementation, unit calibration, and mandatory cognitive training program not included. Additional fees apply.)
This artiforg replaces the "core" of the brain -- basically everything besides the cerebral cortex. The unit serves as an artificial brainstem, midbrain, cerebellum, pons and medulla. In addition to providing optimally functioning thalamus and hypothalamus replacements, it also replaces the corpus callosum with a superconductive membrane. The optic tectum is also replaced, invariably resulting in greater depth perception and spatial acuity. Weight problems?
Set your appetite via remote uplink.Anxiety?
Curb that fight-or-flight response where it starts! Get off and stay off your meds!Insomnia? Depression?
A few simple adjustments will regulate your sleep cycles and moods.Poor depth perception?
An optimized tectum will make sure you're firmly aware of your place in the world.
These are just a few of the potential benefits a brainCOR
user will find themselves partaking in. brainCOR
also has a wide array of applications in treating disease. Epileptics will find relief in the brainCOR. Head trauma, strokes, or aneurysms? The brainCOR help you gain back your independence. Motor neurone diseases? The brainCOR replaces that faulty brainstem and sets your life back on track.
The compact brainCOR
unit comes carefully encased in a special, biologically inert material. This casing will be sculpted to precise dimensions of the biological matter being replaced, based on measurements taken from a comprehensive MRI.
unit has built-in ventricles with precise pressure-regulators, further safeguarding the recipient from possible future brain injury due to unacceptable intracranial pressure -- something that can easily lead to death if you don't have a brainCOR installed.
The patented surgery to remove existing tissue and replace it with the brainCOR
unit is quite safe. A small number of patients have complained of vision difficulties, mood disorders, and headaches immediately after receiving their brainCOR unit. Rest assured, these are temporary and will subside within 2 months.
Additionally, prior being installed, for an additional fee if the patient so chooses they can have a variety of hard-coded neural instructions included in the cerebellum portion of the unit. This amounts to "instant training" in a variety of complex, coordinated movements. Due to the nature of this structure, this coding cannot be altered or appended once the unit's installed, so please take the time to review the catalog and choose wisely prior your procedure.
...oh, and be sure you pay. Or this movie will apparently be about them trying to rip this out of your skull. FUN TIMES.
I'm also fairly certain this just offended neuroanatomists everywhere, but.
It's like the perfect storm of my medi-mechanical conceptart derp and OMG BRAINS. Supporting illustrative brain anatomy images are from anatomical text Gray's Anatomy, a work which is in the public domain and thus free to use in this manner.